Happy Birthday to my blog! One years old! I can’t believe I’ve been blogging for that length of time. I never thought I would have still been writing in it. You see many blogs that slowly wither away, turning into dormant blogs, hoping that one day they might come back to life. I thought mine would go down that route, that I would become too busy to write in it. But no, thankfully I’ve stuck to it, prioritising a time to it every week.
But what a year makes! That girl from one year ago has surely grown up a bit. She had to heart-breakingly walk away from people she loved to get to where she is now. But thinking back, it has been the right decision. Everything has changed.
But, if someone sat me down last May, with a lovely Latte and a bun, and told me:
“Ok Aisling, you’re going to go to China and leave your family, boyfriend and friends’ behind. You’re going to live in Chengdu by yourself. You’ll have your own apartment, but you’ll have to pay for everything yourself, and you won’t be able to ask your family to help you. You’ll have to get your own food, work a full time job, and have 2 days off a week, like regular working people. Oh, you will also have to get yourself up at 7:30am, no asking Mum or Dad to get you up. No one will bring you tea in bed either.
Some days you’ll be lonely and you’ll want to go home, but you won’t be able to do that. There will be things that will happen and you won’t be able to go and cry to someone, hoping they will fix your problems. You will have to fix them yourself. You’re not going to understand anyone, and everyday people will stare at you because you look different… But you need to do this to become a better person….. now is that ok Aisling?”
I would have said “NO way!”
Too. Much. Trouble.
Need. My. Family/Boyfriend.
Live.On.My.Own? I. Will. Die.
Seriously though, that would have put me off living abroad. But thankfully, I kind of erased those parts from my head, ignoring them in a way. I don’t want to think that I wouldn’t get tea in bed from my lovely parents, no one will cook my food for me. That I, of all people, will have to get MYSELF up for work. That jobs for Mum and Dad. As goes for making me food, washing my clothes, and generally keeping me alive and presentable to others.
I have to do ALL THAT…. By MYSELF?! That’s a big ask.
But when your thrown in by yourself, you have to do it. Simple as. I learned that.
Now….. I have to go wash my dishes… they’ve been decomposing a week now.