Thinking of Home.

56 days and counting until I touch down in Ireland. In about 7 weeks I’ll be finished my first semester of studying Chinese. It flew by!

I know my time in Ireland is going to go by quickly, adding to the fact that we’ll be in France for a week, before we know it we’ll be back in Chengdu.

But recently, ( I know sometimes I get annoyed by Chengdu) my attitude has somewhat changed. Although the drivers drive me mad, the constant spitting, and constantly being stared at, which when you’re not in a good mood is the last thing you want; everything is going well.

And my Chinese is going well, to some extent. Although I know for certain that it’s improving, my constant pushing of myself to do better always gets the better of me, and the ‘why can you not remember this Aisling? Why can you not write this character down? ‘… why why why always creeps into my head. My own fault, I’m constantly battling with myself to always do better…. so that sometimes gets my mood down, especially when I don’t understand something in class!

But, as I keep telling myself ‘all you can do is your best.’ So I’m trying, very hard, to keep this in mind.

To keep up to date with our studies, we must study in Ireland. ha with two children in the house I’m not sure how that will go down, but it’s amazing how quickly you forget, so we’ll have to try and keep studying while in Ireland.

Nearing the time to visit, I realise that I actually really miss home. I really do. Because I was so busy, I didn’t have much time to think about it. But now that I only work part time I’m not as hectic; and thats when the reminiscing kicks in.

I miss chatting with my family and friends. In China, the people I’ve met, they just don’t seem to have the humour I have. Back home, I can laugh and joke about things that in China, other people just don’t get. Maybe it’s the Irish humour, I’m not sure. Just I know I can’t be 100% myself, humour wise. Maybe I’m totally wrong here, but thats how I feel anyway.

I also miss just turning on the TV and watching random stuff. The tv here is in Chinese so we can’t watch anything. It will be nice when I go back home and can watch some programmes.

I’m also afraid that when I go home I won’t want to leave, just because of my family. I’m missing my nephews grow up, I’m missing their birthdays, when they go to the zoo or a park. When Alex says or does something funny. Nathan’s first smile, first word. It’s hard, especially when all I get is a couple of minutes recordings of them. I cherish these because this is all I have of them growing up.

But I know I have to go back to China. At the moment my life is here. So all I can do is watch my family, friends and Ireland from afar.

再见

Aisling.

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