I’m a person that really doesn’t like changes…. if there’s nothing wrong, then there’s no need to change it.
But then…. that’s the problem. You’re stuck in the same rut for years on end…..too comfortable to move, change and adapt.
At the moment we’re in the middle of changing our lifestyle and way of life here. As nothing is 100%, I won’t say much more about it until it’s definitely happening. But yeah…. this past week has been tough on the ‘change or not to change??’ dilemma.
I like to think that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes it’s very hard to think of it like that! But I suppose it’s my way of comforting myself!
Some people itch for change, but me…. no no no!
Haha maybe this is why I’ve been stuck in Chengdu for the past 4 years!
Unfortunately, happiness doesn’t come easy to me. I worry/ stress over pretty much everything. A lot of times I don’t like myself for whatever reason….and I haven’t done some things because my anxiety takes over and forces me to abandon it. I’m missing out on things because I’m too afraid to do it… and it drives me mad!
So when it comes to money or happiness… which one should you choose? I’ve been at the same company for the past 3 years, but I finally gave in my 1 months notice. This definitely wasn’t because I had too much money.. like everyone else I need to work. But I simply just wasn’t happy. I had my meeting with my manager and told her how I feel. I don’t mind teaching, and my students are all really nice… just I didn’t want to work for the company anymore. Their new changes weren’t going to benefit me, we had no say as to whether the teachers actually wanted these new changes… and it just felt like I had no opinion on anything… accept it and that’s that.
We plan on leaving China during the summer, so If I stayed, I would only have to work another 4/5 months, and I know some people would say ‘Oh just stick it out…it’s only a few more months’ But for me, I knew I would feel worse and worse if I stayed.
For me, I would pick being happy than money. I certainly need money, but happiness to me is more important. I strive for happiness in my life… but sometimes it feels like I’m never going to be happy. Whatever I do it won’t be good enough. So that’s my ongoing battle with myself!
In a previous job, it made me really unhappy. I remember crying one night because I just didn’t want to be there. So I left. I then spent the last year looking for jobs… which kind of made it worse!
I know in a few weeks I’ll be thinking ‘Oh why didn’t I stay… I’d have more money now and I wouldn’t be worrying about my finances’… I know I’ll be thinking that… but just at this moment my overwhelming desire of happiness just overrides these feelings. In a way, knowing that I made this decision by myself… to better myself mentally makes it (at this moment) worthwhile.
Does anyone else have the same opinion, or would some people choose money over happiness?