Let’s Get Talking (Spanish) Again!

auditorium benches chairs class

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With my wedding, my parents coming to visit, I had to stop going to my Spanish class with my teacher for at least 1 month! Then there were holidays here so that added to classes being delayed.

When my Mum and Dad were here I rarely spoke Spanish. I didn’t want them to feel uncomfortable and left out when everybody was speaking Spanish. I know that feeling! So I just spoke English while there were here.

Then when they did left, I felt as if I forgot loads of things! I forgot words, verb conjugations, how to form the correct sentences. I really did feel like I forgot everything! I started studying again and I’ve found a Mexican TV show to watch on Netflix when the in-laws aren’t using it, and I think it’s helping me quite a bit. I remember a few words from it and simple phrases. It’s called ‘La casa de las flores’ if you are interested! It’s not something I’d want myself, but I’m getting more interested in it and it’s good for my listening practice.

So today was my first class with my teacher and It turned out well. I was a little apprehensive in case I was struggling to talk, but thankfully I spoke fine. I noticed though that I had been confusing él with ella. He and She. So I’d be talking about my husband with ella and my teacher would constantly repeat el! I didn’t even realise I was doing it. (and this used to drive me crazy with my Chinese students when I was teaching!)

I really enjoy my class though; I can make as many mistakes as I want and she won’t mind. That’s what I like. I’m not judged. (I feel I’m constantly being judged when I speak Spanish around others) She was also all praise about my Spanish too. I really do feel like it’s terrible, so when she congratulates me I really don’t know how to respond. I’d love to agree and know that my speaking ability is good, but at the moment I just can’t. When I’m not with her my Spanish hides and I can’t get the words out! So that’s my problem!

The class kind of reminded me that it’s still in my head somewhere…. I haven’t forgotten it…. and that I can talk with some degree of fluency…. with confidence I might add!

Aisling

Oh No! Rain On Our Wedding Day!

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Me and my Daddy

About 3 weeks before the wedding, I was a bit obsessed about the weather. Everyday I kept checking and checking to see if there was any change of the endless blue sky. Then I notice…… clouds…… rain……THUNDER!

Yes, apparently on the weather forecast there was supposed to be all of these things on our big day. So that was when I really started getting worried. I decided that I wouldn’t look at the weather until the wedding. I really didn’t want to worry myself. I had the whole wedding to worry about so I didn’t want to add to the list!

So my Mam and Dad came, and the weather was just as sunny as always! I was on my phone one day and I clicked on the weather app by accident! You know when you just unconsciously click on something without really doing it; well I did that and I realise ‘AHH I’M ON THE WEATHER APP!!!’

But then I notice…….. on my wedding was a lovely sun showing up! SUN!!?? What the hell??? Did the weather change??!! Is there really not going to be clouds and rain??? No thunder!?

Seeing this really really made me happier! I was put at ease then seeing that!

So, the wedding day comes and the morning is sunny as usual. At 2pm it’s time for me to get my hair and makeup done. I sit down and they start beautifying me!

Then….. while my eyes are closed I hear a strange noise…

tap, tap, tap

‘That sounds like rain’ I thought to myself.

I open my eyes. IT IS RAIN!

There’s a huge grey cloud overhead, and drops of rain keep coming, faster and faster.

Now it’s really raining. I try and stay calm. It will be ok, it’s only a burst of rain. The cloud looks like it’s going away from us. It’ll be ok Aisling. 

Then, a big roar of thunder.

Oh god, the weather app was right. I can’t believe it was right 3 weeks ago! 

Then to add to it, the hairdressers daughter came back with a hailstone to show me! Even more drama!

At this stage it was still raining and I started to worry then. I wanted to have our ceremony in the nice garden, how will the photographer be able to take any nice photos in the rain? He’s going to be limited to just the restaurant area…. Typical. It hasn’t rained since December, and on my wedding it HAS to rain!

Honestly, it hasn’t rained since about December here. I was just thinking to myself how typical it was to rain on my wedding day.

So, I just kind of resigned myself to the fact that it was going to be raining. ‘I don’t even have a nice umbrella to bring with me’ I thought!

At about 3:25 the rain finally started to stop. The big grey cloud was heading away from us, and I was happy to see the sun and blue clouds appear again!

I was hoping that that was it, there weren’t any clouds hiding from view! At 5 o’clock myself, my dad and my father in law left the house to go to the venue. The weather was back to it’s sunny ways, and for the ceremony the weather was perfect! As if it didn’t rain at all!

I really just couldn’t believe that there was rain AND THUNDER! 2 weeks after the wedding, there has not been a DROP of rain since that day!

People were telling me that rain before a wedding means good luck, so we must have gotten a tonne load of luck! Maybe it’s a good omen for our marriage too!

So, we were unlucky to get rain, but lucky that it stopped in time, but at the same time….. we were actually lucky to get rain…..??!

Confusing!

Aisling

Our Perfect Wedding Day

It’s been a week since our wedding day….. and it went absolutely perfectly! I can’t believe how great it turned out, and from what I heard, all our guests really enjoyed themselves.

I have to say it was one of the best days of my life. You always worry that at least 1 thing will go wrong on the big day, but thankfully for us it was perfect. Although we did have a scare with the weather, so I will post a separate blog about that another time.

And to my surprise, I wasn’t too nervous. I think the most nervous part was when we pulled up to the entrance in the car and I saw the videographer there with his big camera, and I started getting nervous then. I started crying a little (I think it was just the emotions and the nerves getting to me a bit), but then when me and my dad walked down the aisle I felt much better then.

I also said a few words in SPANISH! You know that was the thing I was dreading about the whole wedding, saying something in Spanish. So when I started, I just kind of blurted everything out. I don’t even remember what I said to be honest. I know it was very basic spanish and I just said thanks to everyone who came and stuff like that… nothing special, but I’m just happy I actually did it. Once that was out of the way I was much more relaxed.

Then we did a toast, took tonnes of photos (I never realised the amount of photos the bride and groom have to take) and then we headed into the eating area. There we had a group of Irish dancers who danced for everyone, then the food came. While we were eating we had a mariachi band come in to sing some songs which was nice. Finally we had our dance and then it was party time!

During the party the waiters came in and handed us balloons, masks and party sticks. I wasn’t expecting these and it was a great surprise. Then we played some typical Mexican games. It was such a fun night.

So yeah, the wedding is finally over, and it really wasn’t what I expected… it was 100 times better. My Mam and Dad also loved it. In Ireland all the weddings are inside, so it was lovely for them to be at an outdoor wedding. My Dad also said it was the best wedding he’s ever been to. (Of course he’s biased but it’s still nice to hear it).

The food was also good too, they were good sizes and they were hot. Plus the cupcakes we made were also a success!

I just loved the day and I’ll remember it forever.

Aisling

They Are On The Way!

man holding woman s hand

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So after months of waiting, my parents are on their way to Mexico! Last night I didn’t really get a good night sleep. I knew they were going to the airport and my mind was half on them, half on sleep, so I didn’t really get a good rest. When I woke up I got a message to say they were in Amsterdam airport…Phew! They made it to there, and now they are on their long flight to me!

My parents haven’t travelled on a long haul flight since I was 11, so I was quite apprehensive about it all. But thankfully everything seems to be going great and they should arrive here at around 7:30pm. We will drive to Mexico airport to pick them up and we should arrive home at around 10. Then they can hopefully have a good sleep!

Also the weather seems good today. The past few days it has been cloudy and I was worried for the wedding. I don’t mind that it’s cloudy; a wedding in Ireland without rain (even if it’s really cloudy)  is good weather, so all I want is that it doesn’t rain.

I think it’s going to take some time getting used to Mum and Dad being here. For 5 year’s it has always been me who goes home to visit, so I don’t think my head is going to comprehend that they are actually here in Mexico! I’m really looking forward to seeing them and I hope they enjoy themselves.

Maybe they’ll even want to visit again!

Aisling

It’s Nearly Our Wedding Time

white and pink floral freestanding letter decor

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It’s March….. and that means our wedding is nearly upon us! We still don’t have everything sorted, so these next few weeks we really have to organise the last details. Thankfully we’re not too worried though.

It’s just scary how the time just flew by. “Oh sure we have 3 months to organise…..8 weeks, grand….. what the hell??? 3 weeks left???!!!”

Both of us will be really happy to get this wedding over though; we have been in limbo since we came because of it, and now when it will be over we can start looking for jobs and where to live. Of course there is the honeymoon but we haven’t even thought about that; my parents are visiting so we have to organise our trip with them. So after they have gone maybe we can scrape a honeymoon with whatever money we have left.

And thankfully, our wedding will start at 5pm until 12am, which is fantastic! We chose this mainly because the venue we are having it in limits events to 7 hours, and you have to pay extra for more time. But I’m really happy with the time; it’s only half a day, it saves us money, and nobody will be too tired from it. Plus I can’t imagine being the centre of attention for a whole day!

I got a tester for my make up and hair too so that’s sorted too.The most makeup I wear is mascara, so having a face plastered with everything really took me time to get used to. I really don’t enjoy having too much make up on me, and I feel I’m going to forget during the day and rub my face! So the make-up really will be a challenge for me for the day.

I know I will feel a weight lifted off my shoulders when the day is over!

Aisling

My Therapist Said…

I’ve been stressing out lately about things…. the wedding, living in Mexico, money, not having much independence… just general things in life. Every week myself and my husband go to a therapist and we just talk about stuff that makes me anxious and what I can do to improve my life. My husband comes to translate because although my therapist understands a lot of what I say, I don’t think his speaking is as good. I don’t mind because I tell my husband everything so he knows beforehand what we’re going to discuss.

One thing I’ve been stressing about is learning my Spanish every day. “Today you need to learn this Aisling…..Oh you still haven’t done it, you’re going to have to do extra tomorrow.”.

Tomorrow comes “Don’t forget you have extra to study today….you’re going to be way behind in everything and won’t learn anything”.

And yet I still don’t do it. So I pressure myself to learn this, do that, write this out, study this grammar, and then there’s just so much that I need to do that I end up abandoning everything.

Then I feel bad for not doing anything all day.

So my therapist was telling me maybe leave studying Spanish for a while and see how I get on. I do want to continue studying though, so he recommend that I to do it in a more fun way. So I’m going to try and do that.

He also advised me just to relax more and do more of what I enjoy. I don’t do many things because my bloody head is constantly thinking ‘You have to study, you have to study… study… study… STUDY!!!.’ So I feel I shouldn’t be watching videos on YouTube because I really should be studying instead.

But my therapist made sense, and from now on for the foreseeable future I’m just going to relax more, stop worrying about Spanish, and just do what I feel like doing. Do stuff that makes me happy.

When I want to and feel like studying then I’ll do it. I’m going to try and not get annoyed at myself if I don’t.

You know it’s just that I know I’m not very good at languages. I know it. I know I need to put pressure on myself. Just doing nothing isn’t going to make the language stick in my head. I’m definitely not gifted with languages that’s for sure. I don’t mind that. I just want to see that my efforts are creating results, and at the moment I just can’t see it. For the time I study and the effort I’m putting in, I’m just not seeing results. My husband says he can see I’m getting better at talking, but I just can’t. So it’s annoying. I’m determined to learn it. I know one day I will speak fluently, but just now it’s difficult.

So, for the time being I’m just going to take it easy, do what makes me happy, and not stress as much. And we’ll see what happens!

Aisling

When Things Bother Me

To be honest I don’t really know what to write in this post. Things have been bothering me lately, and I don’t know what to do. My wedding is coming up and that’s added pressure. I had wanted my wedding day to be a relaxed affair, and not like a ‘normal’ wedding. That’s what I first planned. We were going to have it in our garden in Mexico, turning the swimming pool into a dance area. We were looking at prices for lights, dj, food…. but then we realised that 50 people just won’t fit in the garden, so we had to change plans.

So now I’m having this ‘normal’ wedding like everyone else in a venue; a reception, a toast….. and although I hope it will be a good day… it’s not exactly what I wanted for my wedding. I don’t like being centre of attention, so having a typical wedding day isn’t something I would choose.

I was even looking looking at dresses that weren’t even typical wedding dresses. But then once we moved it to the venue and I realised that yes it’s a full blown thing, then I kind of HAD to resort to getting a typical white wedding dress.

I’m looking forward to the day and then I’m not. I just hope that all will be ok. So that and just other things are stressing me out. Sometimes I feel it was the wrong decision to move to Mexico. And sometimes I am very unhappy with the situation I’m in. Maybe should we have stayed in China? I don’t know. I miss it a lot. I really do, it was my home for 5 years, and I mourn my old life a lot.

It just feels I’m stuck in limbo yet again. This time I’m studying Spanish, and yet again I just can’t see much progress in it. Also I can’t work because if I do get a job then I’ll have to say “Well thanks for the job offer but just to let you know I can’t work for at least 3 weeks in a few months time”. That certainly won’t look good. So both of us can’t look for jobs because we have our wedding.

So this and other things that are happening are just bothering me and making me unhappy, and I don’t know what to do.

Aisling.