Sorry Blog!

When I started this blog years ago I promised myself that I would write in it every single month. Whether it was 4 posts of 1, I would try and write something every month. I was doing great for years but I finally broke my streak!

I haven’t posted anything for a few months and I haven’t even opened my wordpress account until this week. I lost motivation to do pretty much anything these past few months, so that included writing in this. With this Covid 19 and other things, my mental health hasn’t been great lately, so writing a blog was definitely not a priority of mine.

Thankfully I feel there has been an improvement with medication that I started taking and I continue seeing my therapist, so I’m thinking more positively which is good. I started walking again, and although I miss some days (I only done it twice this week), I don’t get upset when I don’t do it. I’m trying which is the important thing.

My Spanish has taken a nose-dive unfortunately and I have just lost my motivation to learn it. I haven’t had an i-talki class for a few weeks so I’m sure my 2 teachers are wondering what happened me! But hopefully I’ll get back into it again.

My course is still going but it’s all online now. I like the fact that I don’t have to go to the school, however it’s very hard to concentrate, especially when the theme is quite boring, but I’m slowly getting through it. My husband has been helping me with my assignments which has been a great help because I just can’t seem to get them done by myself.

Finally our two cats Lola and Scoby are doing great. I love them to bits and they really make me happy, which is something I really need. Although the pandemic hit and all that, finding them was something that we all needed. Ha my Dad is tortured with Scoby though as he keeps ripping the arms of his leather sofa, so he would beg to differ.

But he’s still so cute though.

Aisling

My Classes Are Helping Me So Much

photo of person holding a bible

Photo by Luis Quintero on Pexels.com

It has been 4 weeks since I’ve start my online Spanish course and it has been helping me a lot. Not just with learning Spanish, but just keeping me sane!

With no job on the horizon, I really had to keep busy doing something, and because now I HAVE to get up, it’s has helped me a lot! If I didn’t have my classes I know I would be getting up at 10 or half 10am, and although it’s not late, I can’t sleep at night when I wake up late in the morning. I would dread waking up in the morning and thinking “Another day of doing absolutely nothing”, and that would just set me up for a bad day.

Second reason is that I get homework from both of my teachers, and although it doesn’t take that long to do, it’s something to do! Plus I enjoy the homework because it’s reinforcing what I studied that day.

And finally…. I’m doing something.

That to me is the most important thing. I’m improving myself. I really really want to be able to be fluent in the language. I want to prove to myself that I can do it; that if I put the effort into it then one day I will be able to do the Spanish language exam (DELE) C1 and pass it with flying colours, maybe even become totally native and get C2!

I put so much effort into my one year course that I just completed and I got 98%, 99% and 100% in all of my modules, and I’m proud of myself because I really did put so much effort into the year. I know myself that I’m not gifted in school and that’s ok, but during that year I really wanted to do well and prove to myself that if I put the hard work in then I will be rewarded.

When I got my results it showed me that if I put the effort in then I will do well, or reasonably well anyway, so that’s why I really want to study hard, go to my online classes, take private classes, and just dedicate myself to the language. For the moment anyway. I’m not sure what I will be doing in September but for the moment my goal is to study Spanish.

So….the fact I’m doing something and not making me go literally crazy is my main reason!

I’ve been annoyed at myself for the past two weeks as I seem to making silly mistakes while speaking, but I think it’s just that my mind is getting all muddled up with all this new grammar and new vocabulary that it’s just taking my brain a while to process it all… so hopefully I’ll start seeing improvements soon.

But apart from that I know 100% that the classes are helping me and I’m going to try and keep taking them for as long as possible!

Aisling

Loneliness

grass grey alone symmetrical

Photo by Serkan Göktay on Pexels.com

I’ve always been a person who favours my own company. I’m quite happy being by myself and I don’t feel the need to be surrounded by people.

But now that I’m in Mexico… I feel lonely.

I feel lonely because I’ve no friends.

I feel lonely when my family in Ireland don’t write back to me.

I feel lonely when people come over, converse in Spanish, and I don’t understand.

I feel lonely sitting at the table not being able to contribute to any conversation.

I feel lonely not being included.

I feel lonely because I can’t laugh at any jokes.

I feel lonely not being able to do things when I want to.

I’ve moved from China to Mexico and I feel as lonely as ever.

Aisling