Loneliness

grass grey alone symmetrical

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I’ve always been a person who favours my own company. I’m quite happy being by myself and I don’t feel the need to be surrounded by people.

But now that I’m in Mexico… I feel lonely.

I feel lonely because I’ve no friends.

I feel lonely when my family in Ireland don’t write back to me.

I feel lonely when people come over, converse in Spanish, and I don’t understand.

I feel lonely sitting at the table not being able to contribute to any conversation.

I feel lonely not being included.

I feel lonely because I can’t laugh at any jokes.

I feel lonely not being able to do things when I want to.

I’ve moved from China to Mexico and I feel as lonely as ever.

Aisling

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My Husband Speaks English TOO Well!

 

photo of couple inside the coffee shop

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So, you would think that me being with a Mexican person I would pick up Spanish just like that…. well…..

No…. if ONLY it was like that! You see the problem with our relationship is that my husband is pretty much a native English speaker….. only that he looks Mexican and grew up in the country. His English is perfect and doesn’t have an accent at all. He actually never studied abroad or anything like that and just studied it when he was young, which amazes me!

So….. him being able to converse perfectly with me creates a problem when I’m trying to learn Spanish.

When we met in China, I didn’t have the urge to learn the language, I didn’t even know if I would be with him long! Then when it became 3+ years together I thought “Oh hang on, I think I’ll actually have to learn it now”.

While in China, I was busy studying Chinese and I just didn’t want to get the two languages mixed up, so that was the main reason for not studying it. Plus I didn’t need Spanish at the time. So throughout our time in China we always spoke English to each other.

Then when we arrived to Mexico, he STILL talked to me in English. I had to remind him “In Spanish….in spanish..” and then he would say it again. Our relationship for over 4 years was completely in English, so now it was just difficult for him to switch to Spanish. He’s too used to speaking English with me.

So this is a big problem!

I think now he’s getting used to speaking more to me in Spanish, but it’s still very common to hear him talking to me in English. And it would be simple things he would say to me in English and I would think “He can easily just say that in Spanish and I would be able to understand”

I understand pretty much everything that he says to me, so there’s no problem with me not understanding…. it’s just this habit that we’ve picked up.

Sometimes I wish his English was crap so then I’d be forced to learn it, but then I think “Well if his English wasn’t good then he wouldn’t have gone to China and taught English… I wouldn’t even have met him if that was the case”.

We will break this habit one day!

Aisling

What’s the plan for 2019?

man with fireworks

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Well, I don’t know 100% yet….. I’ve been thinking of a few goals that I want to achieve, so I hope I actually do achieve them.

-Learn Spanish. Next year is all about Spanish for me. Study Study Study. For me, this is the main goal of mine. I really want to be able to tick this one off!

-Exercise more. With my wedding only a few months away, I just want to look better and feel better in myself. I just want to be healthier.

–Find a job I like. I don’t even really know what I want to do in my life, even being aged 28. But I just want something that I’ll enjoy doing. I don’t want to wake up and begrudgingly have to go to a job that I don’t like.

-Save money. First I need a job, then I want to save some money. We have been spending our money on travelling rather than saving for the future. Which…. I really don’t think will help us much when we’re older. (and having no savings to actually live)

Of course I still wants LOADS more things, but I think for me these are the important things that I want to achieve. I’ve no idea what will happen next year for us; will we stay in Mexico? Move to Ireland/ Spain…even France could be an option for us. Yeah It’s great to have the option of moving to all these places, and I know that maybe if you have a child or have a stable job that you love, then it’s hard to just ‘move up and go’. But at the same time I would like to have that ‘this is where I’m going to live indefinitely’ feeling. I want to come home to my own house, watch television on my own tv, and have my own bedroom. I don’t particularly enjoy living out of a suitcase either.

Plus I’m 28 and I just feel like it’s time to start thinking of settling down.

So, we’ll see how 2019 turns out!

Aisling

 

 

Christmas in Mexico & in Ireland

christmas tree with ornaments

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I’ve had Christmases in Ireland, China and Mexico, and out of all of them, Christmas day in China was the worst. Bar one, where we were both off work and we spent the day eating christmas pudding and opening Christmas presents which my Mum sent me, drinking beer and watching Christmas films on my laptop in our freezing apartment. That was a very special Christmas day for us and I really enjoyed it. The others weren’t very good, with one of us/ or both of us working. (They don’t celebrate Christmas in China).

Of course I LOVE this time of year at home in Ireland. I love my Mums cooking; roast potatoes, roast beef, veg, stuffing, gravy….. oh I’m getting hungry just thinking about it. Then we would usually have pavlova (my Dad’s favourite dessert) and an Irish coffee in the evening. The fire would be blazing, the christmas lights all on, and I just really love Christmas time at home.

But this time I’m not celebrating Christmas at home. I’m in Mexico, and the weather itself makes me not think that it’s Christmas time at all! The weather is a balmy 23 degrees, with around 14/15 degrees at night. So not exactly freezing weather!

My husbands family don’t celebrate Christmas either, so the lack of a tree and lights at home also makes me doubt the time of year!

So, let me explain to you the differences between a Christmas in Mexico and Ireland.

In Ireland, usually Christmas eve is busy; we are wrapping the last of the presents, maybe running to the shops to buy that one last gift, and preparing the feast for the next day. Many religious families will go to midnight mass. This is usually in the late evening and not midnight as it suggests.

Christmas day we usually wake and open our presents. Religious families will usually go to mass first and then come home to open their presents. My family aren’t religious anymore so we don’t go to mass.

Then at around 1-3pm we have our big Christmas dinner, dessert and then for the remainder of the day we just laze about, eat crap, drink Irish coffees and watch Christmas films on tv. This is my families routine so maybe other Irish families may differ!

Every shop is closed on Christmas day…. even the airports! You will rarely see anyone on the streets, as everyone will be indoors with their families. (plus it’s too cold to be outside)

So, Mexico now!

From what I’ve gathered, Christmas Eve is when people have their big dinner. Usually it will be later on in the evening, with fireworks being heard outside. The gifts are usually opened after the big dinner, and usually after 12AM, because it’s now Christmas day.

Then, Christmas day is rather strange. I saw that a few shops/ restaurants were open, with employees chatting to each other because there’s nobody actually dining in their restaurants. I noticed that there were a lot more cars than I expected. Why are there people out? Are they not inside with their families celebrating and spending time together?

I prefer the way it’s celebrated in Ireland more, I feel like in Mexico they only celebrate it at night and only for a few hours, and during the daytime it’s just sort of like a normal day, whereas on the 25th in Ireland, that whole day is dedicated to just being with family.

Maybe next year we will celebrate in Ireland!

Aisling

My Parents Are Coming To Mexico!

aeroplane aircraft airplane aviation

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I can’t believe it myself. It had to take a wedding to get them to come. I should have thought of something like this while in China (as they never visited me there). So wherever I live next, I’ll know that I’ll have to think of something very creative for them to make them think it’s worthwhile to visit me.

Agh but anyway, rant over. . . they are coming and that’s the main thing. I would have loved for them to have stayed for 1 month, but 3 weeks is all they can visit for. They will be here a few days before the wedding, and then after that’s over with, we can think of what to do with them and where to bring them. 

They haven’t been on a long distance plane for…. oh since 2001, when we went to America. So this will be a relatively new experience for them! I’m going to have to write out every detail that will happen at the airport, just so they are prepared for it all. I know they will be stressed so at least if I give them a detailed plan of what will happen and what they need to do, then at least they will know all this in advance . Plus when you get through security it’s easy from then on. 

They have a layover in Amsterdam so we made sure to choose one that wasn’t too short. I had an experience of running to the gate because our layover was ridiculously short. So I don’t want them to have to worry and stress about that. 

I hope that after their trip they will be encouraged to travel more. They have become too settled in their ordinary day to day lives. Even to just visit France or Spain, maybe Portugal. Maybe if I stay in Mexico longer then they will visit again, and we can take them to more places in Mexico. There’s just so many beautiful places here. 

Unfortunately my sister, her fiancé and my two nephews can’t afford to come. I understand completely but I was pretty upset and sad about it. I only plan on having a wedding once and it’s upsetting to know that they won’t be here for it. Or that they won’t be able to see Mexico and where my fiancé is from. So I’m pretty sad about that. But I know that if they did they would have a big loan to pay off and I don’t want them to have to worry about that….. and all this due to my wedding. I’d feel pretty guilty.

But hopefully one day they will be able to visit. I know they would love it here!

Aisling.

This Time Last Year

IMG_8987

The University where I worked at

It’s strange to think that this is the first September that I’ve been in Ireland for 5 years. Every September I’ve been in China. It’s not very significant but it means a lot to me. It’s change, and that’s good.

This time last year I started teaching University students. I was making PPT’s for them and getting used to waking up at 6:30am, work at 8am. I was trying to learn all the students names and where my classes were for teaching every class. Little did I know that in a years time I would be at home enjoying time with my family and getting ready to go to Mexico. It’s a nice feeling to know that my life has changed (in a good way) from 12 months ago.

As for teaching and after my crappy students from last semester, I’ve gone off teaching altogether. I really want to try something new. I’m really fed up of teaching now. The students did a good job with that!

I think private teaching would be ok in the future. When I worked in a private company I had some great students and I really enjoyed their classes. But first I’ll try and do something that I want do, and then maybe for extra income I could work teaching privately. It’s good to know that I can fall back into teaching if everything else fails. (which I’m sure they won’t)

But yeah, it’s just a great feeling to know that things are moving now. I’m not stuck in China teaching yet again, for another year. I can start to learn Spanish, I can start looking at jobs I want to do, I can start doing things that I just couldn’t do in China.

Even making friends, I hope I can make new lifelong Mexican friends in Mexico. In China, we made friends and then lost them…. as everyone moves away eventually. So it’s hard to meet and keep in contact with people, especially in China.

I have to think, what will I be doing this time next year? I’ll most likely be in Mexico. Will my Spanish be good? I hope I’ll have new friends. I hope I’ll be living in an apartment. Ha I’ll push the boat out and hope I’ll win the lotto and be rich.

Who knows!

Aisling

While I’ve Been Back

While I’ve been home in Ireland, there are more and more things that I notice every time I come back. Here are a few since I came home.

Roche Castle

Roche Castle

There really are 4 seasons in 1 day

In China, it’s either sunny or cloudy/smoggy and there is little change during the day. In Ireland, in the morning it could be sunny, at noon it could be cloudy, in the evening it could be sunny and then all of a sudden rain would appear, and then maybe it will be cloudy again. It really does fluctuate here, and I’ve never realised how much it does until I came back here. So you really do have to have an umbrella and coat with you!

Ireland is dirty

Having lived in Chengdu which is very very clean, and then travelling around Japan, which is also spotless, I arrive in Ireland and there’s rubbish everywhere. A bottle here, a crisp packet there….. It’s only now that I realise how dirty it is. While we were in Dublin, I saw two dead rats on the pavement (plus loads of rubbish). I admit I feel quite ashamed of the state of my own country. Why do people think it’s ok to throw rubbish instead of just putting it in the bin? I’ll never understand it. But yeah, unfortunately Ireland is very dirty in comparison to Chengdu and Japan.

More variety in ethnicities.

Having moved from Ireland 5 years ago, I’ve noticed many more different ethnicities here. Even in my small town of 40,000 I’ve seen many more. (I really don’t understand why they would come to where I live, there’s nothing to do here!) I don’t see a problem with them coming here once they contribute to society and not just arrive to receive social benefits. Also in Dublin I’ve seen a lot more tourists about! It’s good to see but I can see in the future that the city won’t be able to handle the big influx. Dublin isn’t a very big city at all, so I feel there may be problems in the future.

More expensive

I was looking at the prices of sweets in shops, and a lot of small bars are like €1! Just for a chocolate bar! I don’t know whether I’ve just never noticed when I lived here before, but I really don’t remember having to pay €1 for a bar. Maybe 70cent. But yeah, I do notice things are expensive here. (Cry)

People are fat

Again, I’ve noticed that there are many bigger people here. Maybe it didn’t register when I lived here before, but I feel there are more people that would border on being obese than before.

Needing a car

My house is literally 5-10 minutes away by car from the town centre. It’s really close but yet I need a car to get there. There are no pavements on my road until closer to the town, and I wouldn’t feel safe walking on the road (it’s quite busy), so the only way to get there is by car. There are also no buses.

It’s actually quite annoying. My fiancés parents also said that they wouldn’t like to live here because you need a car. So it’s nice to live in the countryside but that means you will need your own transport to get around. The transport system here is crap, and unless you live in a big city like Dublin then you need a car to go pretty much anywhere.

I’m sure there are more that I can’t think of right now. It’s nice being with the family though. I love going to bed in my own bedroom and sticking something on to watch while I’m surrounded by all my own things. I couldn’t do that in China.

Aisling