I’m Not Moving In Life

Before I left China I had great hopes: we’ll head to Ireland, I’ll get a job in Tourism, and everything will be fine!

Well no, it didn’t go that way at all. We went to Mexico and that didn’t work out for us, so then we went to Ireland and I thought “Well now I can get a job in a travel agency or something like that”.

No…. I wasn’t able to get anything. So I decided to do a 9 month course in Tourism so that I would DEFINITELY be able to get a job.

Well, a little Coronavirus Pandemic happened just before I graduated. I’ve my 8 modules completed with Distinctions in them all, and now there isn’t a job to be found in anything related to tourism.

Like I really feel I can’t get a break. Like really.

There are times where I really really regret leaving China. Yeah I would have been far from my family, but ever since I left nothing has worked out in my favour. I loved my life there, and I mourn it a lot.

Last September my husband found a job that is literally a 15 minute cycle from where we live. He actually started the same day that I started my tourism course! I remember thinking that that was a sign that everything is working out ok and we are finally headed in the right direction.

I loved my course, I done really well in the subjects, and I learned that I actually enjoy studying and learning new things. I felt that I was in the perfect course for me and everything that I learned would help me to secure a job in the travel industry.

But unfortunately with the Coronavirus, I’m literally in the same position as I was 1 year ago. No job and having to do yet another course.

When am I ever going to stop being a student? When am I going to have enough qualifications that will help me get a job? When will I ever stop studying? When can I start earning a full time wage? That’s what it feels like…. I’m going to be studying forever for a job that won’t even pay well.

I know people wanting to become doctors study for years on end, but at the end of it they will get a really high salary. I completed a 4 year degree, a 1 year course and now I’m most likely going to have to do another 1 year course. That’s 6 years of studying and I haven’t even gotten on the career ladder! I’m stuck in the mud at the bottom of it, trying to pull myself out while everyone else is climbing up and up the ladder. My face twisted in sadness and despair while everyone is clambering up.

I’m afraid to do anything now. I went to Mexico thinking that I would become fluent in Spanish, and instead what happened was that I was very unhappy and gained weight.

I thought going back to Ireland would be better, which I did, and although I was happier, I was back in the town that I left all those years ago because I couldn’t get a job.

I just can’t get going in life at all, and everything that I’ve done to change it just isn’t working. So I’m afraid to do anything in case it’s the dreaded “Oh, yet again you chose wrong Aisling. Like Mexico, like Ireland, like your course…. you chose the wrong thing”.

I really just want to get on the right path and not regret it like always!

Aisling

 

1 Word That I Can’t Pronounce in Spanish

As I want to learn more Spanish words, I was reading one of my Spanish story books that I brought home from Mexico. They are really for native Spanish speaking children, but the level is fine for me, there are a few pictures inside, and the font size is much bigger! So I decided to buy 3 of them!

It was in one of these books where I saw this word.¬† I immediately thought “That looks like it’s made up, that can’t be real!”

So I looked it up and yes, it is actually quite real!

….ronronear…

This means ‘to purr’ in Spanish. I was reading a short story about a black cat and this word crept up a few times.

I don’t know why it’s weird, it’s just how it’s written and how it is pronounced. It just doesn’t sound like a ‘normal’ Spanish word!

Incidentally, this is one word that I can’t say either! There is only a slight roll of the tongue when pronouncing the ‘r’s and I just can’t seem to get my tongue back in the right position to say the second ‘r’!

Before I used to have trouble saying ‘euro’. The ‘EUro’ sound is different to the way you say it in English and I just couldn’t get it right! However after practicing I can say it ok now!

The rolling ‘R’s are usually fine however I do trip up on them sometimes, especially when I speak too fast.

But this word I just can’t say. I tried and tried and my husband was also trying to teach me how to say it but I’m just not getting it! It’s not exactly a really important word to say so I’m not overly concerned about it!

I wonder will I find some other weird sounding words the next time I read my books!

Aisling

 

2 Months Since My Ankle Sprain

So I sprained my ankle at the end of April this year, so it’s about 2 months since it happened.

And you know what?

It’s still not better.

I can walk fine and I don’t have a limp, but every morning when I get out of bed and start walking I limp. It’s sore and it feels stiff in the mornings. But then all of a sudden the pain and stiffness is gone and I can walk normally. So that’s the first thing that I notice.

I seem to struggle going down stairs and I have to go down slowly as it’s uncomfortable for my foot.

It’s also still a little swollen in one area, and it doesn’t seem to be going down at all. It kind of annoys me because I have chunky ankles (unfortunately) so this swelling does not help this!

There’s also some tenderness in one spot as well, and when I move it certain ways it hurts.

Finally, I also can’t run! I realised this when I was going somewhere with my Dad and I started running to get my things when suddenly I felt pain in my foot and I thought “Oh no, it seems I can’t run!” So I quickly walked instead!

I knew it would take a while to heal but I just worry that this is what it is going to be like forever! I hope not!

I kind of abandoned my exercises to help my foot for a while but I’ve gotten back into it so hopefully that will help. I just kind of thought that it will heal when it’s supposed to.

I knew it would be a long process, but the doctor did say it will heal within 14-21 days…… so I did actually believe him! But yet here I am 60 days after the accident and it’s still not better.

But anyway, I can walk so that’s the most important thing. I just have to be careful and hope that one day it will heal and I’ll be able to play badminton with the family and be able to actually run and hit the shuttlecock! I’m absolutely rubbish at it now because I’m stuck in one spot!

Aisling

 

My Ankle Has Improved!

My last post talked about how I injured a ligament in my right ankle when I was walking down some steps, and although it was EXTREMELY painful at the time, it has improved greatly since then!

For a while I was walking with a limp but now I try to walk as normal as I can. I don’t need the crutches anymore, and pain wise it’s actually fine now. I can’t twist my foot though, or run (which I found out yesterday) but I can walk around as usual. I just have to be that extra careful the way I move my foot.

It’s still bruised and theres still a little bit of swelling, so that causes pain when I touch it, so I don’t know when all that will disappear. The times when it’s sore is usually after I walk for a while, I turn it a funny way and when I wake up in the morning and walk on it.

It will be 3 weeks this Tuesday since I injured it, and at the beginning I thought it would take ages to heal. I could hardly move it, it was bruised and really swollen.

But I’m surprised that it is healing ok though and I can walk on it. I’m still doing the alphabet with my foot (which is a little sore to do), I do stretches and I balance on the bad ankle. Apparently this is to build up muscle so that a sprain is less likely to happen in the future.

I read that now that because I sprained it once it’s going to be easier for me to do it again, which I certainly do not want to happen again!! Thankfully I’ve never broken a bone or had anything major happen me, but this was the sorest thing that happened me, so I really don’t want to experience that again!

I haven’t drove yet but I might go out tomorrow and see how it is. Ireland is starting phase 1 of it’s recovery tomorrow so hardware shops, garden centres and other work places will be open again. But it’s never going to be the same again, at least not for a long long time.

Aisling

My Ankle Recovery

person wearing ankle foot orthosis

Photo by ThisIsEngineering on Pexels.com

It will be a week tomorrow since I hurt my ankle, and I’ve improved a little. I can now move it a little more and put more pressure on it, and I can (slowly) walk up stairs with my crutches.

For the past two days however I feel my foot has become a little more sore; maybe I overdone it with the walking or something, but I do feel my foot is more painful these past two days. I was walking around the house with my crutches and trying to put weight on my foot, but I think I may have overdone it!

Lately I’ve also been having troubling falling asleep as it’s uncomfortable.

The doctor told me that it would take around 14 to 21 days to fully recover, and I do believe that is true! I felt great a few days ago: walking around and using the crutches for balance, I thought “Oh this is fantastic I’ll be walking soon!”

But no, now I don’t think I’ll be walking soon! The doctor said my injury was between a Grade 1 and a Grade 2, and after looking online, I think he’s right. A Grade 1 injury means that you can walk on your ankle, it might be a little swollen, but you can walk on it.

A Grade 2 means that it’s difficult to put weight on it and it’s all bruised and loads of swelling. It’s also harder to move it around. So I do think mines in the middle! It’s a little bruised and it was quite a bit swollen.

I suppose I’m afraid that if I don’t do enough strengthening and walking then it will take longer to heal, but then I don’t want to overdo it either! I don’t really know if what I’m doing is right. I may have started walking too soon it, I don’t know… but the doctor did say that I should try and start walking on it as soon as I can. So that’s what I did.

I will keep doing the alphabet with my ankle, put ice on it, and just try and move it so that it doesn’t get stiff.

Hopefully tomorrow it will feel a little better!

Aisling

 

Getting Pulled Over

auto automobile blur buildings

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Recently the Irish Government gave police, or as we call them here ‘Garda =singular, or Garda√≠ =plural the power to arrest people who were out driving over 2km from their home and without a good reason. Well, I mean they can arrest someone if they are adamant about getting through or won’t turn around. Usually they just turn people back if it’s not an essential journey. Shopping for necessities or having to go to work (with a valid letter to show this) are really the only two reasons to be out.

My Dad is, as the Government calls it ‘Cocooning’; he’s not allowed to leave the house at all because he is over a certain age. He has been keeping himself busy by:

Cutting the grass

Making birdhouses

Digging up trees

Moving trees

Planting shrubs

Painting the house

Making a compost area

Planting potatoes and peas

Strimming the hedges

So… he is definitely keeping busy! My Mum is also in the high risk group, so she doesn’t venture out either.

So it’s up to myself and my husband to do the weekly shop for the essentials. I don’t particularly enjoy going out; it’s awkward, you always have to dodge people, and it’s just not a nice environment to be in!

Plus it takes extra long because there is a queue to enter places like Lidl and Aldi. One person leaves the shop, and only then can the next person in the queue enter. So you could wait for a while to get in! I’m sure this is the same all over the world!

We usually go during the week and get meat, milk, bread and things like that, but my Dad always enjoys reading the paper on a Sunday. That means we have to take a quick spin up to the shop to get this for him.

Myself and my husband (he comes with me just to get out of the house) went to the shop in the morning to get the newspaper (plus some milk), and on the road up ahead we saw a Garda car and two Gardai in the middle of the road. They were stopping every car that was leaving town or heading into town. So they stopped us and asked us:

What is my purpose for being out?

Where do I live?

I explained to them that I was getting milk and that I only live down the road (which is true) and we were let through. When we got our bits we were driving back home and the Gardai were leaving then!

So next Sunday came about, and my Dad asked if I would go and get the newspaper for him, which I suspected he would! So off we went.

This time there were no Gardai about, so that was great!

But as we were coming back there they were again, set up a bit further down the road than last Sunday. I stopped again and they asked me what was my reason for being out. My husband was beside me with the bread, newspaper and chocolate on his lap, and I pointed to it and said “Oh I was getting some bread”. So then he asked did I live far and I said “Oh I live about 5 minutes away”. (It’s actually not it’s prob like 1 or 2 minutes away by car).

So then he let us go. I was kind of glad we bought the bread as I doubt he would think it was a ‘necessary journey’ with me just buying a newspaper!

We decided that on Sundays we would always buy something that is deemed essential, like bread, milk, eggs or something like that! That way we can justify our outing!

On the weekday when we do our big shop we don’t see anybody, so they must reinforce this on the weekends. But it’s good though, it shows they are strict.

I check the time that we got home and it was around 11am, so I’m thinking they must set up at around that time. Next Sunday when we go I will go earlier and see if they are patrolling!

Aisling

Getting Back Into Reading

I would say since the beginning of this year I’ve stopped reading regularly. The last book I was reading was The Railway Children, and although I tried to enjoy it, it just didn’t excite me as much as reading Stephen King. So my interest in it just kind of withered away and I didn’t pick up my Kindle for a while.

I think another reason was because I got a tablet for Christmas, and instead of reading every night before bed, I would spend this time on YouTube watching Dr Pimple Popper! Yes I am a fan of these ‘horrid’ videos!

So I decided to pick up my Kindle again and I started reading The Strain by Guillermo Del Toro. (And now with this Coronavirus it’s the perfect book to read) My husband read it while we were in Mexico and he kept telling me to read it. We used to watch the TV series of the book but we ended up not finishing it because I didn’t like it anymore, so when he told me the book is good I wasn’t too fussed on starting it. I have loads of sample books, books that were free on Amazon, and Stephen King ones, so I just decided to see what the fuss was about The Strain. The Railway Children has unfortunately been added to my list of unread books.

I’m enjoying it at the moment and I’ve been reading every night now for the past week or two. I enjoy reading horror genres, so this one is up my street!

Aisling