Finding Work Experience

woman using silver laptop

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As part of my course, I have to find 2 weeks of work experience. We need to find somewhere where we are dealing with customers so I applied for 5 places over a week ago.

I applied for one in a tourist information centre, and a few days ago I received an email saying that the dates I was looking for were booked up. I then received another email from another place and said that they were also full! I went into the local library and they said that I have to go to the council and apply through them because its a public building and it’s a big hassle now with insurance and that! So I decided not to go to the council because I”m sure it would take weeks! I haven’t heard from a Pharmacy or a hotel so I’m still waiting from them.

It’s very annoying at the moment because this was the whole reason why I done my course. I couldn’t get a job. And now I’m back looking for work experience which I’m not even getting paid for. Because the town where I live is small, there’s not many places to choose from. Then we have secondary schools and they send their Transition Year (TY) students on work experience also, which doesn’t help us. Transition Year is a year in the middle of Secondary School where students don’t really do much. They do work experience, set up a small business, go on trips and other stuff. It’s a relaxing year before they go into 5th year and study for their big exams. In my area it’s optional to do but I think in other schools it’s mandatory (I’m not 100% sure on this though). My sister did it but I didn’t. That means that that the TY’s will then join the class that was a year behind them instead of continuing on with their own class. With all the trips and things that they do my Mum found out that it was a very expensive year!

I may have to go to Dublin to do it but I don’t want to have to spend a day going up, handing out CV’s and Cover Letters and then none of them reply to me. And because I currently don’t have a car, my Dad would have to drop me to the bus station really early if I was to start at 9am in Dublin.

I just thought that it wouldn’t be this hard. And it’s times like these that I really don’t like living where I do right now.

I’ll start re-writing my Cover Letters again for more places and hopefully something will come up.

Aisling.

 

Not Much To Say

selective focus portrait photo of sad woman in gray sweater with her hand on her cheek

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I’ve tried hard to keep writing things for this blog, but to be honest I’ve been living a pretty boring life at the moment, and I’ve nothing really to talk about!

Weeks have turned into 2 months of not finding a job for neither of us here in Ireland, so we haven’t been doing anything in order to try and save money. We splurged a few days ago and bought an Air Fryer for €40 so that we could air fry some things in the mobile home without having to go to my parents house. It’s actually great and I would recommend you buy one. You don’t need to add oil so everything you cook is much healthier than using a pan or whatever else. We usually air fry sausages and that in it.

I try and think of the positives of not having a job, and being with the family is a big one. But now I’m just kind of getting fed up now. Not earning any money at all is hitting us too, so we are just trying to be careful with our spending.

I was a bit upset a few days ago because I’ve been applying to jobs and getting rejections and it brings me back to why I left Ireland over 5 years ago in the first place. I couldn’t get a job. So now, being back and yet again not being able to get a job just upsets me. I didn’t expect it would be this difficult and I honestly had high hopes of securing something by now. I feel as if I’m back to when I was finished college 6 years ago and was applying for this and that and not getting anywhere.

Then what annoys me is that I know with 100% certainty I would get a job in China in an instant. I really really miss China, and somedays when I’m frustrated I just feel like packing up and moving back, but now I just want to be close to my family and that’s that. I’d never say China is out of the picture; it will always still be on the cards, but I think it would be like a last resort for us. But I have to say I really do miss it!

It’s hard though. Sometimes I feel it was a mistake to leave China. A lot of things didn’t go to plan and over a year later we still don’t know what we are at. Every path we choose has hurdles so we need to carefully plan what our next steps are, if it would benefit us and what are the obstacles if we do this or that.

But I hope the month of August will bring some good news for us!

Aisling.

Worrying

woman working girl sitting

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So with my latest posts, I was talking about how I enrolled in a Spanish course in a university here. My second time going was a bad experience, you can read about it here: No, It Didn’t Go Well

We decided to go and meet the teacher and explain to her that the level is too high. So, it turns out that the other two students that were in the class have been studying a year at the university, so they use Spanish every day because their course is in Spanish. So that is why their level is so good! I’m guessing on their free mornings they come to have class just to strengthen their Spanish. So I was worrying and wondering how I was stuck in with them when they were supposed to be ‘basic’ like me. Unfortunately the teacher never told me this, so I couldn’t understand why they were in my class. Apparently theres only two levels available to take, so they just came to the lower class. Maybe they have class before or after so 10am was the only time to go.

The teacher said that I can continue going and just observe the class, so I can improve my listening at least.

So the day after I had class and I just couldn’t go in. I just sort of had an anxiety panic attack. I just didn’t want to go in and have to sit there while the the others are blabbering away and me not being able to understand anything. I just hate that feeling.

On Wednesday I arrived to class and chat chat chat was all I heard. Again I couldn’t understand much. She asked me some questions and I ‘tried’ to answer, but when the others are talking I just can’t understand. Yesterday I went in again and there were 4 male students, and I’m pretty sure I didn’t understand about 80% of the class. Honestly. It was very difficult for me. They were laughing and joking about something and I just sat at the side just doing nothing. I couldn’t participate or anything.

So I came out of class a little down again, thinking ‘Is this what I have to deal with 5 days a week? I have to worry every morning about going in to class which I shouldn’t have to worry about. Every class I’m anxious that she’ll ask me something and I don’t understand. Maybe they’ll be chatting about a topic and the teacher will ask me “So Aisling, what do you think about climate change? and I’ll be sitting there like an eejit because I didn’t have a clue what they were talking about, never mind giving my opinion on something more advanced than talking about myself’.

These are the things I think about. And I know it’s stupid. I know I should just go in there and try. But I can’t try because I can’t participate. I don’t understand anything they say, so I can’t even try to say something.

So for this week I went in 2 days, today (Friday) I woke up and just said to myself “Nope….not going in today”. And I didn’t. And do you know what? I feel absolutely great today! I’m not worried or anxious about the class. I’m not annoyed at what I didn’t understand. I’m not sad after it and thinking “Oh I said that wrong, I should have said this…” I feel wonderful today.

Anyway, that’s my dilema! Either go to class and struggle, but know that I’m getting something out of it (god knows what because at the moment I feel like the only thing I’m getting out of it is stress). Or I could just not go and be happier, but then feel annoyed that I’m not going and at least trying. It’s a tricky one!

I don’t want to feel like I’m giving up. I really don’t. But the class is just so difficult for me. If it was the level that I’m at and I just didn’t go, then yeah I would be giving up. But this situation is different, so it’s harder.

I’ve also started seeing a therapist for my anxiety. I’ve wanted to go while in China but it was expensive. So I talked about how the class went to him and why I worry a lot. So we’ll see how that goes!

But anyway, today I feel happy and worry-free. So that’s good.

Aisling

No, It Didn’t Go Well

My last blog explained how I started learning Spanish in a university for 5 days a week. Today was the second time I went and let’s just say it didn’t go very well.

Yesterday it was only me and this only guy, and it went ok. The teacher went over some simple stuff and I thought it went fine. The guys Spanish was much better than mine but sure I’m in the basics class, he can’t be that good.

So I arrive to class again and theres another student there. And blabber blabber blabber was all I heard…in fast spanish that I didn’t understand at all!

The class went like this: the teacher asked a question to the other two students. They talked fluently and fast. Then it got to me and I didn’t understand what she was asking. She repeated again and, yet again I didn’t understand.  Aw it was so frustrating.

So while the two other students were chatting away, I just did nothing and stared into space because I just couldn’t understand anything they were saying.

Also the attitude of the teacher annoyed me aswell. She didn’t try and use her body to help me understand. She just repeated the question again, maybe swapping one word out for another.

One question she asked me was “Give me a suggestion on how to put on weight”.

The word I didn’t know was ‘to put on’, so of course I didn’t understand the question. Then asked me “Give me a suggestion on how to lose weight”. Again I didn’t know what the word for ‘to lose weight’ was. Again there was silence.

I feel like I just annoyed the teacher because I couldn’t understand her. So for the rest of the class she just sort of chatted with the other two students about god knows what. I just felt useless.

Now I’m not annoyed at myself. (Usually this is the case), I’m just annoyed that she told me that this was a basics class. I’m basic…. the other student’s are definitely not! They seem to be intermediate.

The book she uses is basic, and it suits me fine, but todays class was more like a discussion on this and that, and I just don’t have the Spanish for that. I admit it, I need to learn basic beginner Spanish.

So I left the class upset and just feeling down about the whole thing. I don’t want to have to worry every day about going to class. I really don’t. My aim is to be happy in life, and I know this will just worry me and put me down. Thankfully we don’t have class tomorrow, but I’m already worrying about Mondays class.

I’m seriously considering not going, because I don’t want to worry myself. I want to be able to go without worry and knowing that I’m in the same level as everyone else. I want to enjoy the class, and today I certainly didn’t.

I don’t even feel like the teacher likes me that much. It might just be me but I just felt like today I was annoying her because I couldn’t understand and I was slowing the class down. She should have known that the class was too advanced for me, she did an interview with me to assess my Spanish!!

So I’ll see what happens. But at least I’m not annoyed at myself. My spanish is just lower than theirs at the moment.

Aisling