Worrying

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So with my latest posts, I was talking about how I enrolled in a Spanish course in a university here. My second time going was a bad experience, you can read about it here: No, It Didn’t Go Well

We decided to go and meet the teacher and explain to her that the level is too high. So, it turns out that the other two students that were in the class have been studying a year at the university, so they use Spanish every day because their course is in Spanish. So that is why their level is so good! I’m guessing on their free mornings they come to have class just to strengthen their Spanish. So I was worrying and wondering how I was stuck in with them when they were supposed to be ‘basic’ like me. Unfortunately the teacher never told me this, so I couldn’t understand why they were in my class. Apparently theres only two levels available to take, so they just came to the lower class. Maybe they have class before or after so 10am was the only time to go.

The teacher said that I can continue going and just observe the class, so I can improve my listening at least.

So the day after I had class and I just couldn’t go in. I just sort of had an anxiety panic attack. I just didn’t want to go in and have to sit there while the the others are blabbering away and me not being able to understand anything. I just hate that feeling.

On Wednesday I arrived to class and chat chat chat was all I heard. Again I couldn’t understand much. She asked me some questions and I ‘tried’ to answer, but when the others are talking I just can’t understand. Yesterday I went in again and there were 4 male students, and I’m pretty sure I didn’t understand about 80% of the class. Honestly. It was very difficult for me. They were laughing and joking about something and I just sat at the side just doing nothing. I couldn’t participate or anything.

So I came out of class a little down again, thinking ‘Is this what I have to deal with 5 days a week? I have to worry every morning about going in to class which I shouldn’t have to worry about. Every class I’m anxious that she’ll ask me something and I don’t understand. Maybe they’ll be chatting about a topic and the teacher will ask me “So Aisling, what do you think about climate change? and I’ll be sitting there like an eejit because I didn’t have a clue what they were talking about, never mind giving my opinion on something more advanced than talking about myself’.

These are the things I think about. And I know it’s stupid. I know I should just go in there and try. But I can’t try because I can’t participate. I don’t understand anything they say, so I can’t even try to say something.

So for this week I went in 2 days, today (Friday) I woke up and just said to myself “Nope….not going in today”. And I didn’t. And do you know what? I feel absolutely great today! I’m not worried or anxious about the class. I’m not annoyed at what I didn’t understand. I’m not sad after it and thinking “Oh I said that wrong, I should have said this…” I feel wonderful today.

Anyway, that’s my dilema! Either go to class and struggle, but know that I’m getting something out of it (god knows what because at the moment I feel like the only thing I’m getting out of it is stress). Or I could just not go and be happier, but then feel annoyed that I’m not going and at least trying. It’s a tricky one!

I don’t want to feel like I’m giving up. I really don’t. But the class is just so difficult for me. If it was the level that I’m at and I just didn’t go, then yeah I would be giving up. But this situation is different, so it’s harder.

I’ve also started seeing a therapist for my anxiety. I’ve wanted to go while in China but it was expensive. So I talked about how the class went to him and why I worry a lot. So we’ll see how that goes!

But anyway, today I feel happy and worry-free. So that’s good.

Aisling

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No, It Didn’t Go Well

My last blog explained how I started learning Spanish in a university for 5 days a week. Today was the second time I went and let’s just say it didn’t go very well.

Yesterday it was only me and this only guy, and it went ok. The teacher went over some simple stuff and I thought it went fine. The guys Spanish was much better than mine but sure I’m in the basics class, he can’t be that good.

So I arrive to class again and theres another student there. And blabber blabber blabber was all I heard…in fast spanish that I didn’t understand at all!

The class went like this: the teacher asked a question to the other two students. They talked fluently and fast. Then it got to me and I didn’t understand what she was asking. She repeated again and, yet again I didn’t understand.  Aw it was so frustrating.

So while the two other students were chatting away, I just did nothing and stared into space because I just couldn’t understand anything they were saying.

Also the attitude of the teacher annoyed me aswell. She didn’t try and use her body to help me understand. She just repeated the question again, maybe swapping one word out for another.

One question she asked me was “Give me a suggestion on how to put on weight”.

The word I didn’t know was ‘to put on’, so of course I didn’t understand the question. Then asked me “Give me a suggestion on how to lose weight”. Again I didn’t know what the word for ‘to lose weight’ was. Again there was silence.

I feel like I just annoyed the teacher because I couldn’t understand her. So for the rest of the class she just sort of chatted with the other two students about god knows what. I just felt useless.

Now I’m not annoyed at myself. (Usually this is the case), I’m just annoyed that she told me that this was a basics class. I’m basic…. the other student’s are definitely not! They seem to be intermediate.

The book she uses is basic, and it suits me fine, but todays class was more like a discussion on this and that, and I just don’t have the Spanish for that. I admit it, I need to learn basic beginner Spanish.

So I left the class upset and just feeling down about the whole thing. I don’t want to have to worry every day about going to class. I really don’t. My aim is to be happy in life, and I know this will just worry me and put me down. Thankfully we don’t have class tomorrow, but I’m already worrying about Mondays class.

I’m seriously considering not going, because I don’t want to worry myself. I want to be able to go without worry and knowing that I’m in the same level as everyone else. I want to enjoy the class, and today I certainly didn’t.

I don’t even feel like the teacher likes me that much. It might just be me but I just felt like today I was annoying her because I couldn’t understand and I was slowing the class down. She should have known that the class was too advanced for me, she did an interview with me to assess my Spanish!!

So I’ll see what happens. But at least I’m not annoyed at myself. My spanish is just lower than theirs at the moment.

Aisling

It’s Actually Sticking In My Head

It’s Actually Sticking In My Head

Spanish, I mean. It’s slowly beginning to stick….. I’ve realised this with how I’m improving on Duolingo. It would give me a sentence to translate into Spanish, and I’d give it a go, thinking that it is wrong…. but nope! It was right! That is happening more and more now which I’m happy about.

I would really recommend Duolingo if you are learning a language. It helped me out a lot at the beginning, and I really just used that and spoke with my fiancé. This was all while I was in China, so it wasn’t possible for me to take classes. So I learned the basics of Spanish just by myself and trying to practice speaking with my fiancé.

Just yesterday I joined a spanish class in the University where my fiancé studied all those years ago. (The private companies are horrendously expensive) This one is extremely cheap for the semester, and  there are 3 other students in my class. I go Monday-Friday 10am-11am. So that’s 5 hours altogether. I’m in the basics level so my Spanish is still low, but I’m just happy that they had a class that I could join.

Today was my first day and it went so so I suppose. There was only 1 other student with me and he could speak more and understand more than I could. I only realised that he has been in the class a while now, and they have gone through half the Spanish book already.  So I joined very late in the semester.

I’m glad I joined but it kind of made me realise how much I don’t actually know. Yeah I know the basics but I’m still messy with tenses and my listening isn’t the best either. The other student was blabbering away and I didn’t understand him a lot of the time. I don’t know whether it was the vocab that he was using which I didn’t know, or that he just had a strong accent and that was why! I’ll pay attention tomorrow and see if I can figure out why!

So tomorrow there may be more students. I wonder how their Spanish is? I hope I will improve a lot in the next few weeks. Or at least get better with the tenses!

Aisling

My Move To Mexico

For months now, we’ve always had the plan of moving to Mexico. The reason was mainly so I could learn Spanish and then when it was good enough I would have better chances of getting a job related to tourism. That was the plan anyway!

I’ve been here I think almost 3 weeks now. (I’m not really counting). We didn’t bring much with us, just some clothes and what not. My fiancés family have offered for us to stay with them and we are very grateful for that!

We have a lot to organise in the next few months! At the moment I am on a tourist visa, meaning that I can only stay here for 6 months. In order to tackle this, we are organising the civil ceremony so that I can apply for a temporary 1 year visa. In that way I’ll be able to work on that visa.

Second, we are also organising our wedding/gathering/party for early next year. We aren’t planning anything wild, just something in my fiancés parents’ garden. It’ll be a small wedding! And big surprise, my parents are actually coming to Mexico! I spent 5 years in China and absolutely no one came to visit me. ( I had to have a wedding to make someone care about coming to see me).

But anyway, they are coming at least. Finally.

So at the moment we really aren’t doing anything productive. With both of us jobless, we are trying not to spend any money. (That also means not going anywhere either). I don’t really mind, I get to study Spanish more.

Oh, and on learning Spanish….. it’s ridiculously expensive to have Spanish classes with a private language learning centre here. It’s madness!!! Most of them are over 400USD per week!! Now they are intensive classes, but I just can’t afford that. So that kind of annoys me. They are catered to Americans who come for a few weeks to learn. They hike up the price so much though, even my fiancé was also shocked at how expensive they are, especially because a lot of Mexicans wouldn’t even earn that in 1 month.

I’ll try and find classes elsewhere if I can. I know myself that I need to be in a classroom to learn things. I’m bad at self-studying.

Exercise wise, my fiancés parents have a pool so I’ve started swimming for about 3/4 hours a week. I’d like to lose some weight and just get fit. The worst thing is just getting in at the start as sometimes it can be a little cold! But if I swam in a freezing cold cenote, then I can tolerate the pool!

So at the moment we are talking about our wedding, what needs to be done, what we need to get for it, and the civil ceremony and what that entails! AAhh!

Aisling

Back Home: My Thoughts

I’ve been home for nearly 1 month now, and it’s the first time in a long time that I didn’t have to think about going back to China. Being home this time round has made me realise some things…

The first is that I don’t actually miss China as much as I thought. Of course I miss my independent lifestyle, my apartment and the transport, but I thought I would miss it much more! Since arriving home, I’m enjoying the colder weather and that I don’t sweat at all now, I’m enjoying my Mum’s food. I like being with my Mum and Dad at home, and I feel I’ve a better relationship with them now than when I left for China 5 years ago. I suppose I’ve matured more.

The second is that I would like to live closer to the family. I’ve been missing my nephews grow up and I know that the next time I see them they’ll be completely different. They won’t be the nephews that I have in my mind 1 year ago. They’ll be brand new boys to me. Also Mum and Dad aren’t getting any younger so that’s another reason.

I know one thing though…. I wouldn’t be able to settle down in my hometown. It’s too quiet, too small, and absolutely nothing happens here. So that’s one thing that I know.

We are moving to Mexico soon so I can learn Spanish, and I kind of have mixed feelings about. I really want to go and learn Spanish, but then at the same time I feel like we are back to square one, and that we’ll always be feeling in limbo. I have no idea where we are going to settle down, and it stresses me out. We can’t buy this or buy that because we’ll have to bring it with us when we move.

We would love a dog but we just can’t at the moment as we have no idea where we are going to be living.

So it’s nice to be home, but at the same time, I’m in limbo!

Aisling

Things That I Do To Study Spanish

Things That I Do To Study Spanish

Duolingo

Who doesn’t use Duolingo when learning a language. I’m nearly finished my tree but I keep forgetting to do it everyday, so I need to stick with this one more. But it’s a good starting point for learning.

Youtube videos

There are quite a few videos on how to learn Spanish, but I particularly enjoy the channel ‘WhyNotSpanish’. She is really nice and she explains things clearly and simply. I really enjoy her channel.

whynotspanish

Another channel I watch is Extra en Español. A Spanish tv show for  learners. It’s a bit cringe-worthy sometimes but it’s useful for your listening!

extraspanish

Irish Leaving Cert Spanish Past Papers

For my Leaving Cert in Ireland, I studied French (which I totally forget). These exam papers are the important exams for entry to University. You have ordinary level (which is a lower level) and higher level. Here they have stories that you read, fill in the questions, and then you have an email/ letter you must write.

You can find the website here; Leaving Certificate Sample Spanish Papers

So on the Ordinary level which I’m doing now, for the email/ letter which you have to write, what I do is first say it to my fiancé. He will help me fix any mistakes. So I will practice saying it aloud a few times, then I will write it down. I think this is useful for me.

Sample Spanish books on Kindle

I really enjoy learning Spanish by reading. Before going to sleep I would usually try and read a few pages of a Spanish book that I have in my Kindle. There are lots of spanish books on Amazon, but of course you need to pay for them. But I figured out I could simply download a  free sample of whatever book I wanted, then I could read and practice using the samples. Sometimes they give quite a few pages of the book, so that keeps me going with my reading practice!

Speaking with my fiancé

I try and talk with him everyday in Spanish, and when we are on the bus going somewhere. But of course we always revert back to English!

Anki Flashcards

I used Anki flashcards for when I was learning Chinese, and it proved quite useful. For spanish, I use Anki and a method for learning languages. I will explain it.

For Nouns, first I will write the alphabet A-Z. I will have two of these. One will be for men, another for women.

So for example, the word government, el govierno.  El is going to be for male. So all nouns that begin with el will be male. All with la will be female.

Ok, so for el gobierno, what I do is think of a male with the name beginning with G, because gobierno begins with G. I think of George Clooney.

Now I need to think of an image of George doing something related to government. I picture him in my head holding a placard with the words ‘Shut your gob you government!’. (In Ireland people sometimes say ‘Shut your gob’ to someone to stop talking’).

So I try and remember that scene until it’s easy to remember. Then when I see the word ‘el gobierno’ I can picture George Clooney holding the placard and shouting!

I’ll give you another one. La bufanda. Scarf.

I picture Beyonce holding a scarf and saying BOO to all her fans. So Boo to her fans. La Bufanda!

This is a good way to memorise words. I’ve only started doing this so I’ll see in a few weeks if I’ve retained any of these words!

Also for verbs, because they don’t have a gender, I just choose a fictional character and do exactly as I done with nouns.

I think this method of learning is called the ‘Marilyn Method’.

My problem now is that I lose motivation sometimes, and then I spend a few days not learning anything. Plus when I’m working the last thing I want to learn is study! So I need to try and practice everyday!

Aisling.

Their English & My Spanish

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I’ve been dabbling in Spanish for the past few months, but I’ve only really been putting an extra effort in it since I came back from Mexico. I can have a basic conversation and I say I’m about A2 right now. I can understand more than what I can say. So I think I’m gradually getting better with it! I don’t think my pronunciation is bad, but I need to learn the conjugations and what not. Plus increase my vocab.

As I teach English to Chinese students, I’ve been meeting up with every student and asking them “Where are you from?” “Where do you want to visit in China?” “What country do you want to visit?” and ” What do you do in your free-time?”.

Simple enough questions. But I noticed that so many of my students have atrocious English! Some of them don’t even understand “Where are you from?”.

I actually realised that I can speak better Spanish than they can speak English…… and they have been learning English since they were 4 years old!

I understand English is similar to Spanish, but these kids have been learning it since they were little. They really should be more fluent. Plus many, if not all of my students get basic tenses wrong. they would say ‘She get’, ‘Yesterday I go….’

Like this is very basic grammar, but yet they struggle. In Chinese they don’t have tenses. So for ‘I eat’ is ‘Wo chi’/ 我吃.

‘I ate’ is ‘Wo chi le’/ 我吃了.

You add ‘le’ 了 and it changes to past. So there is no conjugation needed in Chinese. So I do understand that changing tenses and what not is difficult for them, but come on, it’s not as if they only started learning English!

I think a huge part is how they are taught it at school. They are made to learn long boring passages in English from their books, and it’s just not useful for them. They don’t do enough/or any speaking in class, and they focus too much on grammar. So the way they are taught doesn’t exactly help them.

Plus many just don’t want to learn English. They don’t plan on leaving China, so why should they bother? Personally I think they are crazy; they are wrapped in their own bubble here and they have no interest in exploring the world. They are taught that China is best…. so why would they want to leave that?

Many know that English is important, I’ve asked them. They all say “It’s an international language and it’s very important to learn”…… but many just don’t learn it.

So when I compare my Spanish to my students’ English, I’m definitely progressing faster than them!

Aisling.