I’m Not Moving In Life

Before I left China I had great hopes: we’ll head to Ireland, I’ll get a job in Tourism, and everything will be fine!

Well no, it didn’t go that way at all. We went to Mexico and that didn’t work out for us, so then we went to Ireland and I thought “Well now I can get a job in a travel agency or something like that”.

No…. I wasn’t able to get anything. So I decided to do a 9 month course in Tourism so that I would DEFINITELY be able to get a job.

Well, a little Coronavirus Pandemic happened just before I graduated. I’ve my 8 modules completed with Distinctions in them all, and now there isn’t a job to be found in anything related to tourism.

Like I really feel I can’t get a break. Like really.

There are times where I really really regret leaving China. Yeah I would have been far from my family, but ever since I left nothing has worked out in my favour. I loved my life there, and I mourn it a lot.

Last September my husband found a job that is literally a 15 minute cycle from where we live. He actually started the same day that I started my tourism course! I remember thinking that that was a sign that everything is working out ok and we are finally headed in the right direction.

I loved my course, I done really well in the subjects, and I learned that I actually enjoy studying and learning new things. I felt that I was in the perfect course for me and everything that I learned would help me to secure a job in the travel industry.

But unfortunately with the Coronavirus, I’m literally in the same position as I was 1 year ago. No job and having to do yet another course.

When am I ever going to stop being a student? When am I going to have enough qualifications that will help me get a job? When will I ever stop studying? When can I start earning a full time wage? That’s what it feels like…. I’m going to be studying forever for a job that won’t even pay well.

I know people wanting to become doctors study for years on end, but at the end of it they will get a really high salary. I completed a 4 year degree, a 1 year course and now I’m most likely going to have to do another 1 year course. That’s 6 years of studying and I haven’t even gotten on the career ladder! I’m stuck in the mud at the bottom of it, trying to pull myself out while everyone else is climbing up and up the ladder. My face twisted in sadness and despair while everyone is clambering up.

I’m afraid to do anything now. I went to Mexico thinking that I would become fluent in Spanish, and instead what happened was that I was very unhappy and gained weight.

I thought going back to Ireland would be better, which I did, and although I was happier, I was back in the town that I left all those years ago because I couldn’t get a job.

I just can’t get going in life at all, and everything that I’ve done to change it just isn’t working. So I’m afraid to do anything in case it’s the dreaded “Oh, yet again you chose wrong Aisling. Like Mexico, like Ireland, like your course…. you chose the wrong thing”.

I really just want to get on the right path and not regret it like always!

Aisling

 

Finding Work Experience

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As part of my course, I have to find 2 weeks of work experience. We need to find somewhere where we are dealing with customers so I applied for 5 places over a week ago.

I applied for one in a tourist information centre, and a few days ago I received an email saying that the dates I was looking for were booked up. I then received another email from another place and said that they were also full! I went into the local library and they said that I have to go to the council and apply through them because its a public building and it’s a big hassle now with insurance and that! So I decided not to go to the council because I”m sure it would take weeks! I haven’t heard from a Pharmacy or a hotel so I’m still waiting from them.

It’s very annoying at the moment because this was the whole reason why I done my course. I couldn’t get a job. And now I’m back looking for work experience which I’m not even getting paid for. Because the town where I live is small, there’s not many places to choose from. Then we have secondary schools and they send their Transition Year (TY) students on work experience also, which doesn’t help us. Transition Year is a year in the middle of Secondary School where students don’t really do much. They do work experience, set up a small business, go on trips and other stuff. It’s a relaxing year before they go into 5th year and study for their big exams. In my area it’s optional to do but I think in other schools it’s mandatory (I’m not 100% sure on this though). My sister did it but I didn’t. That means that that the TY’s will then join the class that was a year behind them instead of continuing on with their own class. With all the trips and things that they do my Mum found out that it was a very expensive year!

I may have to go to Dublin to do it but I don’t want to have to spend a day going up, handing out CV’s and Cover Letters and then none of them reply to me. And because I currently don’t have a car, my Dad would have to drop me to the bus station really early if I was to start at 9am in Dublin.

I just thought that it wouldn’t be this hard. And it’s times like these that I really don’t like living where I do right now.

I’ll start re-writing my Cover Letters again for more places and hopefully something will come up.

Aisling.

 

I Feel Like A Child!

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My last posts were about going for an interview for a tourism course! So anyway, I got a place and went for the first meeting with all the other students who were doing different courses. I got my timetable (it’ll most likely change they said) and I saw the other students that will be in my class.

And I was right. I am most definitely the oldest out of them all! So I don’t really know how to feel about this! I saw that there were other mature students there so I know I’m not the oldest out of the whole class year, but still… it’s a bit unnerving.

So today I had to go to the school and get my student email and my student card. And Oh My God I felt like I was 18 all over again and couldn’t do anything!

Firstly, when the teacher said “Good morning” there was a grumble back. She looked around and raised her voice “GOOD MORNING!”.

This is EXACTLY what I had to do when I was teaching my 18 year olds in the University in China. (At 8 o’clock, 10 o’clock….. and pretty much at the beginning of every class they were half asleep)

Except now I’m part of these 18 year olds!

AAGGHH!

It’s very unnerving! I was the most responsible person and the boss of an entire classroom in China, and now I’m a student having to listen and take orders from a teacher. It’s quite hard to adapt!

Next, we were brought into a computer room and we were told how to sign up for our emails and that. We were literally told step by step how to log in, how to click on the Google Chrome, how to put our details in. How to sign out. 

I know all this stuff, and if I don’t, I’m sure I’ll figure it out by their step by step leaflet they gave us all about how to log in.

I don’t need to be babied around.

Then to add to this babying, I didn’t have my page filling the whole screen (because it was fine the way it was), and a teacher came over and said “You know if you click that square button on the top you can make the screen bigger”.

I Know.

But, I politely said thanks and clicked it. But honestly, this whole morning I felt like I was 18 again and having to have teachers to help me.

I’m pretty sure the teachers were like this when I started studying my BA degree when I was 18, but now that I’m older I really can see how I’ve become more mature.

But anyway, I start classes on Monday so we’ll see how that day goes. But I suppose one good thing is that maybe the teacher thought I actually was 18! Because If I was the teacher and saw a near 30 year old I would expect them to know that the square button makes the page bigger.

Aisling

Losing The War (With Spiders)

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We’ve been living in the mobile home now for a few weeks… and I’ve realised one downside of living in it. Spiders!

Before we moved into it it was empty for about 2 years,  so we had to give it a good cleaning and airing out. We did find a few spiders about when we were cleaning it, so it was lovely and clean when we were finished!

So ever since we would find a spider on the wall, on the ceiling, in the shower…. and I wasn’t actually too chuffed about this at all.

You see I hate spiders. My husband doesn’t like rats or cockroaches, (the time in China when he felt something moving on his leg and he found it was a huge cockroach cemented this hatred) but for me it’s spiders.

And also, there are small holes in the mobile so they are perfect little entrances for them! Holes from connecting the wire for the internet, where the toilet doesn’t quite fit and there is a small gap between the toilet and the floor, things like that.  There are vents on the floors and the walls so the air can ventilate throughout the mobile, so this means very easy access for those pesky spiders!

Anyway, we kind of made it worse with our spider invasion! It was a sunny warm day and we decided to wash the outside of the mobile. There was loads of green stuff all over it so we had to hose it and scrub the stuff off. We made sure the cobwebs were gone from outside and there were no spiders to be seen! Great! The mobile looked lovely now!

“Oh I see a spider outside the window” I said, as I walked outside with the spider spray. I started spraying the spider. “Oh there’s another one!” I spray that one then.

ANOTHER ONE!

ANOTHER ONE!

About 10 spiders started weaving down on their cobwebs from the top of the window. I was shocked. ‘All those spiders were hiding behind the gutter on the roof!’ I thought!

So that got me all flustered. I went around the whole mobile spraying the windows and the wee crevices. The spiders were hiding at the top of the windows where there was a little dip they could stay. So of course the water couldn’t reach them.

After, I went around the whole mobile to make sure they were gone, then I felt a bit better.

Until.

We moved their hiding place. So of course where do you think they would travel to next?

Inside the mobile.

The next few days we were seeing spider after spider. From the sitting room to the bathroom. In every area.  I had to inspect the areas every night, armed with my spray while my husband relaxed on the computer. (He’s not as concerned with spiders as I am)

To help me worry less, I got tape and covered all the little holes I saw around the place. Because the mobile is quite old, the windows don’t close 100%, so they will also be able to get through from there. But I covered all the holes (that I could see anway).

And do you know what? They are still getting in.

Honestly, it’s a losing battle. Every night I do my rounds, I go outside and spray spider repellant (it smells strongly like peppermint so I think it’s really just water and peppermint, but I sprayed it at a few spiders and they didn’t like it at all, so it does work), then I go inside and spray the repellant around the doors and the windows.

But, they keep on coming. There must be a hole somewhere that I can’t see and that’s where they are coming from. Or maybe it’s the windows. I spray repellant around them every night though so I don’t know.

But anyway, it’s a losing battle for the moment!

And what’s worse, I’ve hallucinations at night about spiders, so they are actually coming true now!

Aisling

Not Much To Say

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I’ve tried hard to keep writing things for this blog, but to be honest I’ve been living a pretty boring life at the moment, and I’ve nothing really to talk about!

Weeks have turned into 2 months of not finding a job for neither of us here in Ireland, so we haven’t been doing anything in order to try and save money. We splurged a few days ago and bought an Air Fryer for €40 so that we could air fry some things in the mobile home without having to go to my parents house. It’s actually great and I would recommend you buy one. You don’t need to add oil so everything you cook is much healthier than using a pan or whatever else. We usually air fry sausages and that in it.

I try and think of the positives of not having a job, and being with the family is a big one. But now I’m just kind of getting fed up now. Not earning any money at all is hitting us too, so we are just trying to be careful with our spending.

I was a bit upset a few days ago because I’ve been applying to jobs and getting rejections and it brings me back to why I left Ireland over 5 years ago in the first place. I couldn’t get a job. So now, being back and yet again not being able to get a job just upsets me. I didn’t expect it would be this difficult and I honestly had high hopes of securing something by now. I feel as if I’m back to when I was finished college 6 years ago and was applying for this and that and not getting anywhere.

Then what annoys me is that I know with 100% certainty I would get a job in China in an instant. I really really miss China, and somedays when I’m frustrated I just feel like packing up and moving back, but now I just want to be close to my family and that’s that. I’d never say China is out of the picture; it will always still be on the cards, but I think it would be like a last resort for us. But I have to say I really do miss it!

It’s hard though. Sometimes I feel it was a mistake to leave China. A lot of things didn’t go to plan and over a year later we still don’t know what we are at. Every path we choose has hurdles so we need to carefully plan what our next steps are, if it would benefit us and what are the obstacles if we do this or that.

But I hope the month of August will bring some good news for us!

Aisling.

No Experience? No Qualification? No Job

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When I was in Mexico, I would be looking at jobs in Ireland and I was amazed at how many there were that I could apply for. I was thinking ‘Aw it’s a pity I’m here and I can’t apply for any of them’

So now that we are back in Ireland, I’ve been applying and with no success at all. All the time spent away in Ireland I always thought ‘Whenever I go back to Ireland I’ll get a job ok. Things are different now and I have more experience’. I was a bit more positive back then.

Now that I’m back it feels like none of my 5 years working in China has benefited me at all. I’ve gotten experience all right, but not the right experience for the jobs I’m applying for. I can’t even apply for a teaching job because I don’t have a CELTA! So I’ve actually loads of experience teaching but I need a qualification to teach in Ireland. So unfair.

I just feel like we are in a rut. Yet Again. This time in Ireland. I’m trying to be positive though and keep busy; I’m still studying my spanish. I know my speaking has gone down though, but I think my verb conjugations are improving and I’m continuously learning new words. So that’s good. Also I do enjoy being with my family. I was very lonely in Mexico so now that feeling is gone and I’m enjoying my time here. We have our own space in the garden in an old mobile home that we live in now. I said I’d post about that one day and I will. The shower doesn’t work so we have showers in my parents house (which I don’t mind at all), and we need to get gas for the cooker, but apart from that everything is great. Well, in the winter it will be absolutely freezing because there’s no insulation at all and we only have a small gas heater, but we’ll worry about that when we get to it.

We also got the internet hooked up from my parents house so now we have our small TV and we can watch Netflix which is great. So I do enjoy having our own space and at the same time I can also be with the family.

I was just surprised at how difficult it is to get a job. Even my husband was surprised, and he has been applying for loads with no success. My Dad always says “Everything will work out”. But my answer is “When will it work out?”.

I don’t exactly want to wait 5 years for ‘everything to work out’.

Aisling

Chinas obsession with its phones

Every traveller who visits China will say the same…”Chinese people are obsessed with their phones”.

And they are correct. On the bus, everybody has their noses stuck in their phones. In a restaurant, in a cafe, in a park, in the metro. Everywhere. It’s actually quite terrible to look at. 6 people in the metro sitting together and every single one of them is on the phone, oblivious to what is going on around them. The amount of times people bump against me because they are too busy looking on their phones while walking I can’t even count. When parents take their kids to a restaurant and all of them are on their phones, even the kid! On the bus, the parent will be sitting with their child and the the mum/dad have their face stuck to the phone constantly, while the child just sits their quietly….. not getting any attention whatsoever from their parent. It’s really quite sad to see.

But that is the reality now in China. They are absolutely obsessed.

We recently went to a bar and our friends had a thing connected to their phone. We didn’t know what it was. They replied that the bar rents out power banks so you can charge your phone. Our Chinese friend who was with us said “That’s exactly why Chinese people are addicted to their phones”.  So they don’t even have to worry about their battery running out; just rent out a power bank for 1 hour and they are good to go!

While myself and my fiancé were in McDonalds, a girl and boy couple sat beside us. As soon as they sat down, out whipped a phone and the girl started playing a game on it, of course with the sound turned on really loud! Then the boyfriend took it off her and for the whole time we were there, he was sat there playing with his phone….. while the girlfriend hand fed him chips.

So he was busy playing the game while the girlfriend just sat there looking around her. Sometimes he would say something (i’m not sure if it was to the girlfriend or just to himself), but apart from that, there was no interaction with them at all. Then to make things worse, he had a big smudge of mayonnaise on his face and not once did the girlfriend mention to him/ clean it off him!!

Me and my fiancé were just there sitting there looking at them in disbelief. No communication between the pair of them…… mayonnaise on the guys face….. girlfriend didn’t even bother telling him….????? Honestly we couldn’t get over it at all.

How can these people become so addicted to their phone? We know other Chinese friends and they are the same; stuck to the phone… even when they are with a group of people, they don’t care. They will just continue on their phone and not make conversation.

Now not all of our Chinese friends are like this, and even one of our Chinese friend admitted that this addiction thing is really bad in China.

Another example of this is in Starbucks. Sometimes we would go there and treat ourselves, and we would constantly see people on their phones. No talking, no nothing. Just on their phones. When we were in Mexico, we realised how cheap it actually was, so we decided to go in and have a drink. We looked around and EVERYONE was talking! We looked around and not one person was on their phone. They were talking, playing card games…. interacting with one another.

We then realised how different it was in China. I suppose we didn’t really notice too much, we just became accustomed to it. But yeah, I think we kind of made a mental note to ourselves not to use our phones as much.

But yeah, it’s a terrible problem that Chinese people have… and I really don’t think it’ll stop. They use their phones to pay for things, buy things (such as cinema tickets)….. pretty much everything!

We even saw a homeless guy asking for money with a scanner code! You simply scan the code he has, then you pay him through your phone!!! That is actually a thing now!

So yes, I won’t miss the obsession with phones here. I’m not sure if it’s the same in Ireland (I hope not) but I’ll definitely try harder not to use mine as much!

Aisling